Hi everyone! Welcome to 2023! Full disclosure, I have not made a single resolution. Per last week, I will not be making a single resolution and the only intention I have for 2023 is to let it unfold.
I’ve been doing quite a bit of work on myself these past few months. I’m always exploring, experimenting and trying new techniques. Not only for me, but also for my clients. I am a firm believer in walking the walk and talking the talk. Everything I recommend, I’ve personally done, whether it is a method, process, or technique. This stems from my days as an adolescent psychotherapist. Kids want to know that things are safe. What better way to make a referral to a particular type of therapy or modality than to be able to inform what it actually feels like. It's important.
Some of the things I’ve been doing my own deep dives on are nervous system regulation, guided imagery, hypnotherapy, and manifestation work. Footnote, I’m learning that all the work, ALL the work whatever you choose comes down to the health of the nervous system and the communication between our sympathetic nervous system and parasympathetic nervous system. There is so much to say here, and I will follow up with more details about what I’ve learned in my own work and trainings soon as the pieces fall into place, but so far this makes a lot of sense. I’m beginning to conceptualize that the breakthroughs we have in talk therapy are actually in sync with when our nervous system can be calm enough to not experience the new information or insight as a threat. This is why as therapists we may struggle with essentially saying the same thing in several different ways and it isn't until an almost mysterious moment that the patient is able to hear it or integrate it. This readiness is actually the patient’s nervous system being in a relaxed enough state that this new information can be integrated. And this relies upon not being in fight or flight.
This is a really new way for me to think about the effectiveness of talk therapy along with my own experience as a patient. Long story short, I’m learning that if you want to get the most out of any introspective work, coaching included, even manifestation work, spending time taking care of your nervous system is an essential first step.
Beyond this new found perspective, a part of my own work that surfaced this week was a new appreciation for roller coasters. I’m sure I’ve written here before that I LOVE rollercoasters. They are pretty much my favorite thing. And if I am being truly honest, I’d rather go to a theme park like Disney than visit a far off destination. It sounds bananas as I type it out, but it’s the truth. There is something about the experience of being on a roller coaster that runs deep for me.
When I began to break down what exactly I love about it, I realized that it is really kind of magical.The first truly incredible thing about roller coasters is that you are truly a passive passenger. There is a lot of talk in Human Design about the ultimate goal being to understand and live as a passive passenger. In Human Design, this means to lead with the body and keep logic and the mind out of decisions. To let things unfold. It sounds easier than it actually is, and the idea is that it takes about 7 years of living your design to really begin to understand what this means. After a few years of study, I can say this is probably true. We are so conditioned to rely on our minds that I myself had completely turned off any cues from my body. I had been living in the attic, as my good friend Emily McDowell refers to it. Human Design really helped change this.
Roller coasters provide an easy opportunity to experience this idea of passive passenger without doing any of the work. Cool right?! From the moment we sit inside the car of a roller coaster, our job is simply to experience it. Sit back, and enjoy. A park worker pulls down the safety bar and away we go. We are free. Up and down, round and round, upside down. The path, speed, and excitement are not determined by us. It’s a ride in the truest sense of the word.
I’ve heard surfers and skateboarders refer to their prospective sports in a similar way and as a skateboarder, yeah I get it. I feel it too. But with both surf and skate, the athlete is the action. In surfing there are two actions. The surfer and the wave. And in even small ways being the action keeps us out of this pure passive passenger experience. Things can happen so quickly in both sports that I do believe there have been times where my body is responding and my mind just is not quick enough to allow logic to enter into a decision. And this gets us close, but not in the same way as a roller coaster.
I know roller coasters are not for everyone. Many attic dwellers tend to hate the loss of control. But if you like roller coasters, go get on one as soon as you can and revel in the abandonment as practice for loosening your grip. As we work on letting go, moving to a place where our nervous systems communicate better, allowing our full selves to fully experience it in real time lets us know this letting go is possible and can even be fun. Roller coasters remind us what it feels like to trust, let things unfold, not rush and let go.
And for me that feels amazing.
I came upon an interesting idea in my Human Design study group. We were discussing the pros and cons of starting the year with a resolution, goal, intention, word, etc. I am sure as you have been in the scroll you have come upon all kinds of ideas. Everything from set all the clear goals, to wait until later, to how about we just want for nothing this year. I love the diversity of these ideas. The more ideas we have, the easier it is for all of us to know what feels good to us. We can try on different ideas, start, stop, and switch gears to figure out what works best for us. All GOOD things.
One suggestion that I thought was beautifully simple is to refer to your Human Design Signature as a word, mantra, intention, goal for the year. Beyond an idea for the year, I like the thought of resting on this word in many introspective moments. What about exploring this word during meditation, exercise, moments of pause? Lots of freedom and play here in how we can connect to our Signature.
To back track a bit, your Signature in Human Design is your North Star letting you know that you are moving in the right direction. Our Signature is a feeling and the more we experience this feeling from relationships and decisions, the more we are living in alignment with our design and therefore using our energy to it's most powerful potential. While a Signature is a general word, the feeling is experienced differently by everyone. It is the nervous system work I refer to above, along with trusting our bodies a messengers, and the simple act of rest that allows us to get in touch with the subtleties of what our signature feels like for each of us.
As a Manifesting Generator, my Signature is SATISFACTION and PEACE. The more SATISFACTION and PEACE I experience, the more I know I am making the most aligned choices. this is not to say that every single thing I do needs to be satisfying and peaceful. But a reminder that when life feels more in line with my Not-Self (Frustration and Anger for MGs) to welcome a balance of SATISFACTION and PEACE.
I'm going to try this out and see how it feels. I'm not one to pick a word of the year. I honestly hate that shit. But I do think I can find some play in resting upon this word in moments of pause. I'll let you know how this unfolds.
Are you going to give this a try too?
Let me know! I'd love to hear your experience.
Need help understanding your Signature?
Have questions about what Human Design can do for you?
Send them my way and I'll get back to answering them next week right here in the newsletter!
The Red Hot Chili Peppers are wild. I never fully understood them until I lived in California for a handful of years. They are truly California centric and everything about them made a lot more sense once I understood California itself.
For me, they are less about lyrics and more about what Anthony Keidis can do with his voice. The sounds he makes are more important to my ear then the content. Once I found that pathway to enjoying their music, its beauty and impact really unfolded for me. The more I listen, the more I like it. Plus, it's really great for skateboarding.
This song is my current favorite. It is full of unexpected rhythms and I love Keidis's voice as it travels across the hardness and toughness of the instruments. He's a really pretty singer and this song showcases the beauty and impact of his instrument.
Also, I'll say that I find the lyrics to this particular song to be more interesting than others.
I hope you enjoy it too. Hit listen to get a taste.
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Coming out to the light of day
We got many moons that are deep at play
So I keep an eye on the shadow's smile
To see what it has to say
You and I both know
Everything must go away
Ah, what do you say?
Spinning knot that is on my heart
It's like a bit of light and a touch of dark
You got sneak attacked from the zodiac
But I see your fire spark
Eat the breeze and go
Blow by blow and go away
Oh, what do you say?
Yeah, you don't know my mind
You don't know my kind
Dark necessities are part of my design and
Tell the world that I'm falling from the sky
Dark necessities are part of my design…
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