What is therapy?
Essentially, therapy is an individualized mental health treatment plan. Meaning the therapist is approaches each patient as an individual with distinct experiences, history and concerns.
The job of the therapist is to hold space for you to gain a clear perspective on your behavior and actions. And to consider your goals and experiences when developing a treatment plan. Insight and progress in therapy comes from taking in what’s known as the therapist's interventions, or nonjudgemental statements and questions about your thoughts and actions. Interventions are not opinions or judgements. That’s what your friends and family are for.
Therapists provide a safe and neutral space to help you discover more about yourself. To remain neutral, your therapist cannot be a friend or a family member. That is a conflict of interest. Your therapist should never be your romantic or sexual partner either. That's unethical, a violation of their licensure, and reportable to the governing board.
Therapy sessions can feel good, and be uplifting, but can also be really hard and exhausting. Doing the work of getting to know yourself means existing in both spaces. It is important for your therapist to feel trustworthy, skilled, and comforting, in order for you to feel open to being curious and looking within. Not every therapist is perfect for everyone. Some matches are better than others. Not having an immediate connection with your therapist doesn't mean you've failed. If you feel disconnected, let them know. You both might need more time, or it's possible there is a better match for you out there. The important thing is to discuss it together. Your therapist is on your team.